Sick of being miserable
Take this with a grain of salt, I just have to get this out of my system.
Prozac only does so much.
I've been more miserable lately than I think I've been in years.
It's a combination of so many things and, believe it or not, none of it has anything to do with the Red Sox. Honest.
I just kinda keep waiting for the tide to turn, for things to get better, for life to improve. I briefly thought it was for a time, with the new, now non, job and so on.
Bottom line though, nothing is really going well at all.
I look at it from so many angles and keep coming up with the same conclusion. My life is pretty goddamn shitty right now. I've been trying to remind myself, pretty much daily, that it could be worse. Of course it could be worse. Of course countless people are worse off than I am and of course I should be grateful for how my life is instead of bitching about what's wrong with it.
But I'm tired of reminding myself. I'm tired of having to talk myself into thinking of the positive.
And I'm tired of crying daily, as I am right now.
No job. Few friends. Poor health. Little life right now. I know, I'm whining, get over it. It's just particularly difficult right now and I honestly don't know why.
In the meantime, things appear to be looking up for my roommate, and I'm happy for him, really I am. He has a larger circle of friends than I could ever dream of. He's always going out, or going out of town to visit, always on the phone or chatting online with his friends. I'm happy to get spam.
He's also about to get a great new job, judging by how his last round of interviews went.
I really am happy for him. But, and don't take this the wrong way, I'm kind of annoyed. Not with him, just with his level of life and how effortlessly it seems to come to him. It's also a constant reminder of how much my life is lacking.
Chalk it up to jealousy. Pure and simple. It just gets difficult to remind myself how much my life really doesn't suck when it so clearly does, if only in comparison to the person I'm closest to and live with.
I'll get over it. I always do.
But when is it my turn?
Anyway, disregard all of the above. I just needed to let it out.
I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. Promise.
Prozac only does so much.
I've been more miserable lately than I think I've been in years.
It's a combination of so many things and, believe it or not, none of it has anything to do with the Red Sox. Honest.
I just kinda keep waiting for the tide to turn, for things to get better, for life to improve. I briefly thought it was for a time, with the new, now non, job and so on.
Bottom line though, nothing is really going well at all.
I look at it from so many angles and keep coming up with the same conclusion. My life is pretty goddamn shitty right now. I've been trying to remind myself, pretty much daily, that it could be worse. Of course it could be worse. Of course countless people are worse off than I am and of course I should be grateful for how my life is instead of bitching about what's wrong with it.
But I'm tired of reminding myself. I'm tired of having to talk myself into thinking of the positive.
And I'm tired of crying daily, as I am right now.
No job. Few friends. Poor health. Little life right now. I know, I'm whining, get over it. It's just particularly difficult right now and I honestly don't know why.
In the meantime, things appear to be looking up for my roommate, and I'm happy for him, really I am. He has a larger circle of friends than I could ever dream of. He's always going out, or going out of town to visit, always on the phone or chatting online with his friends. I'm happy to get spam.
He's also about to get a great new job, judging by how his last round of interviews went.
I really am happy for him. But, and don't take this the wrong way, I'm kind of annoyed. Not with him, just with his level of life and how effortlessly it seems to come to him. It's also a constant reminder of how much my life is lacking.
Chalk it up to jealousy. Pure and simple. It just gets difficult to remind myself how much my life really doesn't suck when it so clearly does, if only in comparison to the person I'm closest to and live with.
I'll get over it. I always do.
But when is it my turn?
Anyway, disregard all of the above. I just needed to let it out.
I'll be in a better mood tomorrow. Promise.
posted by Jess at 4:15 PM
6 Comments:
As you said, sometimes we all need to get that shit off of our chest.
Hope things look up soon for you.
I feel better after reading your painful post. Why, you might ask? Because I knew you felt so much better after writing it. We're here for ya! Don't forget, we're human, and always subjected to the ups and downs in life. This is your down. Imagine what's to come....
Ad Henry, you look like Einstein. Or Houdini. Have we met? It's Harry..I know it! Right??
Thanks, guys.
Appreciate it.
I'm much better today.
No, it's Harry Houdini. Henry is a nickname. I'm not sure if we've met. I've been down to see Dave 2-3 times.
Nah, you two haven't met. Wisconsin, Connecticut. Not so much.
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