Stupid Brain
So, lately I've been a little more symptomatic than usual, making me a little pissy and not want to post a lot.
It basically feels like my body has been taken over by pins and needles, for the most part, mostly in my legs. From the knee down, in both legs, it shifts from being completely numb to tingly, back to numb.
As a result, I'm more clumsy than usual, finding more bruises that I can't explain since I don't feel them happen initially.
Similar feelings (or lack thereof) in my arms, from the elbow down, making it difficult to type oftentimes. Since I'm very blind, I can't rely on what I see to confirm accurate typing, but I can't feel the home keys (the braille dots on the f and j keys) to make sure I'm starting out in the right place. It's all a little frustrating.
The most noticeable, and somewhat scary effect I observed the other day, while driving. I can't often feel my feet or the pedals in my car and discovered that my driving has been very jerky, I stop abruptly now, as well as accelerate, not intentionally, of course, it's just that I can't feel as well how hard I'm pushing the pedals.
This, combined with my complete inability to drive in the dark, has made me more hesitant to drive at all than ever before, understandably so, I think.
Finally, and this will be my final kvetch of the day, I'm now having a lot of pain mixed in with the numbness. It seems that during times when I switch from numb to tingly, the tingly is now translated by my brain as really, quite excrutiatingly painful sensations. I'll be sitting still and not realize that I'm grimacing. People will come up to me and ask what's wrong. Of course I say nothing, or that I'm tired, or have a headache or something. It's easier than explaining that my body's failing on me because my immune system is attacking my brain. At least, in most social settings it's easier. My close friends know what's going on, so I can kvetch to them, but don't really like to. I'd rather whine here and pretend I'm fine otherwise. It's no fun being a downer, right?
Ok, enough of that.
So, wtf is going on with my Patriots? Very disappointed.
Don't really need to expand on that.
More later, if/when my fingers wake up.
It basically feels like my body has been taken over by pins and needles, for the most part, mostly in my legs. From the knee down, in both legs, it shifts from being completely numb to tingly, back to numb.
As a result, I'm more clumsy than usual, finding more bruises that I can't explain since I don't feel them happen initially.
Similar feelings (or lack thereof) in my arms, from the elbow down, making it difficult to type oftentimes. Since I'm very blind, I can't rely on what I see to confirm accurate typing, but I can't feel the home keys (the braille dots on the f and j keys) to make sure I'm starting out in the right place. It's all a little frustrating.
The most noticeable, and somewhat scary effect I observed the other day, while driving. I can't often feel my feet or the pedals in my car and discovered that my driving has been very jerky, I stop abruptly now, as well as accelerate, not intentionally, of course, it's just that I can't feel as well how hard I'm pushing the pedals.
This, combined with my complete inability to drive in the dark, has made me more hesitant to drive at all than ever before, understandably so, I think.
Finally, and this will be my final kvetch of the day, I'm now having a lot of pain mixed in with the numbness. It seems that during times when I switch from numb to tingly, the tingly is now translated by my brain as really, quite excrutiatingly painful sensations. I'll be sitting still and not realize that I'm grimacing. People will come up to me and ask what's wrong. Of course I say nothing, or that I'm tired, or have a headache or something. It's easier than explaining that my body's failing on me because my immune system is attacking my brain. At least, in most social settings it's easier. My close friends know what's going on, so I can kvetch to them, but don't really like to. I'd rather whine here and pretend I'm fine otherwise. It's no fun being a downer, right?
Ok, enough of that.
So, wtf is going on with my Patriots? Very disappointed.
Don't really need to expand on that.
More later, if/when my fingers wake up.
posted by Jess at 12:40 PM
1 Comments:
Hey Jess,
My thoughts are with you. I hope some good days come to you soon.
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