Pinball machine in my head

Ah, the joy of an MRI.
Hadn't had one in more than a year, but given my recent inability to walk, see, or use one of my hands, it seemed about time.
Nothing terribly new thus far, of course, I won't get the results for a bit.
However, good gravy, boy does it suck to have to take out piercings and put them back in after a three hour spell. Lots of alcohol swabs.
Not to mention me, with my tendency towards giddiness, giggling when the machine sounded particularly pinball-machine-esque. Yeah, didn't exactly speed up the process.

Ah well. Assuming the worst. Hoping for the best. The body hasn't exactly been cooperating lately so I don't have the greatest expectations this time around.

Anyway, here's hoping. It's not like I have any specific goals, but things are finally happening for people in my family that I'd like to see, so I'd like to be around for them.

That didn't take long

Needless to say, the whole gung-ho attitude for going to the gym has gone by the wayside.
I'll still try to go, but posting about it has proven to be too deflating to my ego when I fail.
So much for that.

In other news - there isn't any.
Tired. Toenail-less. And all-around sore all the time.
I'm not sure what's going on lately, but everything hurts. Even my skin, which is weird.
I mean, I'll walk, and that hurts. But I'm used to that. But now, where my legs hurt, the skin all along stings, almost burns. And this is the case everywhere - arms, back etc.
Just odd. No rash. No allergy. Just. Pain. Sux.

Anyway, so I'm staying in and sulking a lot..

On the bright side - the Patriots are still undefeated and are playing again this weekend after a bye week. And the Celtics are undefeated too. Granted, they've played fewer games this season so far than the Pats but still, off to a nice start. So greatful for the distraction of sports.
Good times.

The Self-imposed Latch-Key Kid

Allow a little preface here.

About a week ago, I was out grocery shopping. Thankfully, I walked instead of drove.
I was working my way through the lunch meat/chicken/beef length of the store when I realized I couldn't read any of the labels on the products.

Bottom line: To this day, i still can't see in front of me, only peripherally.
Hopefully, it'll come back soon since, the last time this happened, I spent three days in the hospital with an IV hookup to try to bring my optic nerve back into the game.

Stupid brain.

Anyway, my pool team had first round playoffs last night.
Not to toot my own horn but, typically, I'm one of the best players on my team. However, given recent events I of course informed my captain of my vision issues. That, combined with my chronic fatigue that they were already aware of made me assume I'd be done and gone by game five, regardless of the outcome.

Sad fact is, even with vision issues, I'm still one of the better female shooters on the team, so my final game was game ten. By then I was so loopy and exhausted that, apparently, I was very entertaining, but not very effective as a pool player.

It really sucks in retrospect because, of the two games that I lost, I definitely should have won both of them but it was a foreign table, and of course any number of other issues.

Bottom line, we lost the night. Of course I wasn't the only one who lost games but it's a really disconcerting turn of events when I've grown accustomed to being a reliable winner on the team and suddenly can't count on myself. Truthfully, when we've lost in the past, it's been despite my wins, you know?

On another note, further enhancing the caution of me not driving. I was walking to a store the other day. Started to cross the street only to realize that I failed to fully see the crosswalk sign stating that it was no longer time to walk.
Found myself in the middle of four lanes of traffic waiting for the lights to change again.
Ok. Now it's getting serious. I can't even cross the street. I can't see the crosswalk sign.

Such a fucking tool.
I'll be staying on side-streets for a while.

Mini hiatus

Um, gonna take a little time off here.
My eyes are kinda screwed up. Things are very, very dark. Very difficult to see and, quite frankly, I find myself getting a migraine trying to read the screen right now, so I'll be off.

This just started today and hopefully it'll be over just as quickly.
So, I'll be around, reading where I can but, until this passes, think I'll be passing on typing much in the near future.

I'll stick with tv for now, larger pictures are easier to make out.
Just what I need right? Another reason to stay in couch potato land.
Maybe I'll lift some dumbbells - right.

Not a great night

Allow me to admit up front that I did not watch the game tonight, although I did witness via MLB.com the first two unfortunate and ultimate runs allowed by Dice-K tonight.

Fact of the matter is, I was having a particularly crappy health day today.
Managed to make dinner for the next three days but, bottom line, was having some serious mobility issues today.

To put it mildly, and, well, not to share too much, suppose I found I had to go to the bathroom at 11AM, well, having done that, finally made it back to bed around 1PM. Difficult to maneuver today.

In any case, was hobbling around and settling in for the night around 7:30 when my phone rang.
Yep, called in to sub for my pool team.

Got there around 8:30 and, of course, drank for free.
But, honestly, free booze matters little when every motion is excrutiating.
Put on my best/bravest face and simply told my teammates I had the flu when they asked me why I looked so ill.

All things considered, fared fairly well.
We only won four games tonight. Betweeen seven of us over fifteen games.
I won two of the four.

Kinda sad.
Ah well.

Hopefully, we'll all fare better next week.

My neurologist kicks your neurologist's ass!

I get some serious chronic pain issues from time to time, in addition to frequent migraines.
This is all related to brain problems, as attested to by my neurologist.

Anyway, some time last year when I was in for my quarterly brain check-up, I was simultaneously having an obscene migraine.
My doc was very sympathetic, he's actually a really cool guy.
But the bottom line is, we got through the check-up quickly and he sent me on my way with a prescription for Vicodin. Kick. Ass.

I don't tend to take pain meds for recreational purposes. Honest. Still don't.
With pain and all that crappy stuff, I went through my script in about three months.

So, more pain ensued and the other day I emailed him and asked him to call in a new prescription for me.

Now, here's the best part.
Finally picked it up today, 30 pills, sufficient to last quite some time.
Then I looked at the bottle, and for the first time ever, there was authorization for refills.
Two.

Such a relief.

You know the saying "Why do I bang my head against a wall? Because it feels so good when I stop."
Well, I feel almost human today.
A nice change from cringing with every movement.

Stupid brain.

Passing fears

So, yesterday scared the crap out of me.
I woke up at 10AM, when I had set my tv to turn itself on so I could watch the last half hour of George Stefanopolous.
Things got weird, and pretty damn frightening.

I've experienced sleep paralysis before, when your mind wakes up but your body doesn't and you can't move, even though you're aware and want to.
Happens more often than I'd like, but I've become kind of used to it. It usually passes after a few minutes, fifteen max.

I was unable to move or get out of bed until 2PM.

I just lay there, freaked out.
Tried to talk, nothing. Turns out my roommate wasn't home anyway, so that didn't matter.
But for a few, terrifying hours, I really felt like I was circling the drain.
Not a pleasant experience, although by 1:30 or so, I'd kind of made some kind of peace with everything.
I wouldn't say I was ready, but I was more ok than not.

Turned out, that proved unnecessary, since, you know, I'm here and typing and all.