So. Very. Sluggish

My mood is already fairly pissy, given the combination of a Sox loss and a Yanks win. Add to it the lethargy that accompanies crappy weather.
After being spoiled last week by lovely sunshine and warm breezes, it's a dreary, drizzly, cool day here in Chicago.
Watched some hockey. Ate a salad.
And now I'm here, for no other reason than to remain upright, for if I were to allow myself to go back to watching TV, I'd fall asleed and find myself awake for the bulk of the overnight.

Unfortunately, I have nothing of value to contribute to the blogosphere with this time.
Kept pseudo-tabs on what the Patriots were doing with the draft, knowing that, in the end, Belichick will prove to have been wise in the end. Coach. Guru. I have all the trust in the world in him and his decisions. For now. I miss Vinatieri.
But football is months away, so I'll reserve any judgement for now. Just trying to distract myself from making judgements regarding baseball.

Spoke to my parents briefly. They still live in Massachusetts and are expecting me to visit sometime this summer, while my grandmother (babcia in polish) is visiting from Poland.
Of course I intend to, especially considering she's 85 (I think) and the only grand-level relative I have left. I'm also planning to coordinate it with my brother and his wife so that we're all there at the same time. They live in DC for now, but are moving after the summer for a new job.
Here's the problem, or hope. I'm hoping to have a job by then, and chances are I'll have prorated vacation time, if any. So, not sure if or when I'd be able to make the trip. Worst case scenario, I won't have to worry about it because I won't have a job. Best case: I'll have a killer job and an understanding manager. Who knows?
Toes still crossed.

That's it for now. The well is dry. My brain fell asleep before I started typing.
Time to work on a Kakuro puzzle. Cardio for my cranium.

In a word: Rudy

So, we're losing. Down 3-2. Schilling's been taken out.
What next? Well, from my perspective, it appeared to be an admission of defeat with three innings left to play.
Rudy fucking Seanez.

Allows a two run homer. now it's 5-2.

Some pretty nifty things happen in the top of the ninth.
Two homers. Now it's 5-4.
Problem being, of course, the score should be 3-4, in out favor.

Rudy, I'm not a fan.
We definitely had more chances to score in this game that weren't taken advantage of, and of course it's not all his fault but, from in front of my computer, it just looks like he was put in to seal our fate. Red Sox lose to Tampa frickin' Bay. Unreal. Pisser.
They're just the team we should've destroyed to kick the ego back into that comfort zone. We're facing the Devil, er sorry, the Yankees tomorrow.

Let's start May off right, boys.
Do it for the Jessinatrix.
Hell, just do it. It's a moral imperative. Dammitt.

More than a feeling

I don't know why, but I thought the Sox would win tonight.
Despite their recent skid.
Despite their starting pitcher.

Happy to be right. It hardly ever happens, but when it does, well I'm pleased as punch.

DiNardo performed as I expected, allowed four runs in three innings.
Foulke was lights out in the seventh, allowed one in the eighth and, wouldn't you know it, the Sox bats woke up to take the lead for the first time in the ninth.

All you need now is what I've come to rely on. The sweet arm of Papelbon.



Three batters, fourteen pitches and three (count 'em!) three strikeouts later, a much needed W. (Not to mention this pic cracks me up. Go on, Wild Thing!)
Pap got his tenth save in ten attempts too, with an ERA of a somewhat impressive 0.00.

Now if we could just win when we're supposed to, you know, when the good pitchers are starting? That'd be fabu. Not bitching yet. I'm content for the night.

waking up like barry white

This seems to happen every time I go out, and stay out later than intended.
I wake up sounding like Barry White. Very hoarse. Very raspy. Moving a little slow today.

So, I was hanging out with Dave last night, and ended up tagging along to a birthday party of someone he works with who I've never met.
At any rate, the party was at a dive-like karaoke bar called Louie's.
And now the fun begins.

Only managed to get a couple of songs in, but they were well received.
Son of a Preacher Man, of course, since I can't go out and sing karaoke without it.
And Love is a Battlefield. I felt like I had woken up a lot of pissed off chicks when i started singing that one. Suddenly, I've got a shitload of angry women high fiving me.
It wasn't my intention. I just thought I could pull it off, it being in my vocal range.

At any rate, it was a good night. I always enjoy it when I hang out with a bunch of people I've never met before and end up feeling comfortable among them before departing.

Good times. Now, back to bed or coffee? Better go with the coffee.

Happy Anniversary, Rocket

So, today is the anniversary of Roger Clemens establishing the new record of twenty strikeouts.
It was twenty years ago today that he struck out twenty unfortunate Mariners.

Good for you, sunshine. Now come home and finish your career where you belong.

Not going to comment on the game tonight. Not necessary. I believe my sentiments are easily enough assumed.

Happy Saturday, such as it is.

Che razza da gioca e?!

Shit, I don't remember how to spell in Italian.
It's supposed to say "What kind of game is that"?!

Red Sox got creamed last night.
Beckett was shell-shocked before the first inning was even over.



I'll just let it go at that.

Thinking about it is making me a little pissy.

*sigh*

It's ok, it's ok.
I'll go to the gym. Listen to some loud angry music and get it out of my system on the treadmill.

All right, Clement. You're up. It's Tampa Bay. This is most definitely winnable. Don't let us down. No pressure.


Just took a break to go watch highlights from game 4 of the 2004 ALCS.
Feeling better now.
On with the day.

Take Two

So, Peter tells me I look kinda mean in the photo from the previous post.
See, now I was trying to look car-model fierce, but it didn't quite work.




Having been caught in the right mood at the right time, I'm feeling pretty accomodating.
So here's another. This time Jess in a Jaguar. Fantastic piece of machinery, that car. Must pick one up one of these days if I ever cease to be destitute.

Meet Jess

So, I'm still learning about this happy land of blogging and just figured out how to upload a picture. Problem? Of course, there are no save pictures of me out there for me to let you who don't know me personally know what I look like, which actually might be doing you all a favor.

Favors be damned! I found a picture that Dave had saved from when we went to the Chicago Auto Show a couple years ago. This was all part of the fundraising being done for his MS150 bike ride team. Apparently, he had raised the most money over Super Bowl weekend, someone had donated the tickets to the preview night for charity, and off we went! (A little extra background - I was diagnosed with MS about 2 1/2 years ago. A week later Dave had found out about the ride, and has been doing it every year since)

So anyway, this is me, sitting in a Viper. That was a fun night. Got blitzed on champagne and got to get dressed up for the first time really since, well, shit, I don't know when.

And there you have it. One of these days I'll get a real picture of me on here, but until then, this is me.

Ahead of schedule

And, as a result, idle.
Woke up earlier than I had hoped today, so started up early as well.
Made coffee. Drank coffee.
Went to gym. Walked four miles, did some other weight crap.
Went to Marshall's, bought some more workout clothes.
Home. Shower. Dress.
Get into daily hissing fight with roommate's spawn of satan of a cat.

And here I am. Idle.
Really need to get that damn job. Or at least some temp work.

I'm finding myself waiting for inspiration than hasn't materialized.
Something, anything that will force me into action.

Hrm. Maybe I'll go for a walk. Not the treadmill kind, the, it's a beautiful day outside so why don't you go enjoy it, kind.

Well, I do have six hours to kill til I hopefully get to see Beckett kick some serious ass against Cleveland. Via computer screen, of course.

If you can't say anything nice

Well, I hadn't planned on saying anything at all about tonight's Sox game, but I can't help it, so I'll leave it at this: How 'bout some control top baseball bats, you know, for that extra RUN SUPPORT? Wakes, man, you just weren't with it tonight. I say this as the game is as yet, unfinished.

I'm all for a great comeback, and I retain hope for the same, but man, this game was one that I was ok with watching very intermittently. I basically popped my head in every half hour or so, got pissed off, and walked away.

Nonetheless, still hopeful, realistically or not.
Feel very sorry for Tim, but it wasn't just him. Just mostly. Unfortunately. I really wanted him to get a win, for his self assurance if nothing else. I realize that, as a pro, his got his head game together, but still, going 1-4 has to suck. We do really need Mirabelli to catch for him. I think just that comfort level would chip in. But what do I know.

Well, Wakes is out of the game, we're only going into the seventh inning.
Plenty of time, right? I thought so.

Postscript: Now that the game's over. Love the movie Major League. Not a fan of the Tribe. Dammit.

And fruition

Thankfully, it turned out as I'd anticipated. Pap got the save.
Good man. boy. whatever you want to call some guy who's willing to shave his head if he _wins_ a bet.
Anyway, happy. Sleepy.
Red Sox aside, I think I've slept about four hours in the last three days. Insomnia's a bitch, especially when one of your medical symptoms is chronic fatigue.
Will have to discuss with my neurologist when I see him next in June.

For those of you confused, will explain. Eventually.

Go Sox!

The Beauty of Anticipatory Updates

Now, I know the Sox game isn't over yet, and I only watch the games on computer via MLB.com updates, but goddamn, I love it when I see the words, "ball in play - run scoring play" and I predict correctly just what that play is. Sox v. Indians, currently in the top of the 8th inning. Two on, two out, Manny at the plate. I'm notified of a run-scoring play. So here I am, yelling at my computer "THREE RUN HOMER, C'MON FUCKER, TELL ME IT'S A THREE RUN HOMER!!!!!!" And what update appears on my screen? "Manny Ramirez homers on a fly ball to right center field. Kevin Youkilis scores, David Ortiz scores."
Ah yes, 'tis a dang beautiful thing.

I'm sorry Schill won't get the win, but, y'know? It's ok, as long as we win it in the end. And it's not a loss for him, so still a great starting record.

I know, I know, the game's not over yet, gotta be getting back to it.

In the meantime, I'm awash in the warm glowing warming glow of the MLB.com website as I await what I predict will be save #9 by the fab Pap and the continuance of a new winning streak for my beloved boys.

Very Entertaining Time Waster

And, seeing as I have nothing but time:
This site is awfully funny, in a cute, fuzzy, sort of way.
Big fan of the unbleeped Reservoir Dogs reenactment, among others.
Who knew bunnies could be so vulgar? After all, they're bunnies!

Someone out there listens, well, reads

Maybe it wasn't just me who informed them, but Deadspin, a site I love, has recently been asking readers to send in info about video scoreboard races in ballparks and other sports arenas around the country. I sent them an email about the Chicago Wolves, our minor league hockey team, which I love. Well lookie here!

In the notes part in the extended article, they use my words exactly to explain why they use Harry Caray.
I'm sure someone else told them about it too, but for now, feeling special.

Riddle me this, Batman (part deux)

Ok, so I totally associate the need to smoke with, say, sex, food, coffee, whathave you, some kind of pre-smoke trigger. I also understand that nicotine leaves your system after three days and that all remains is the oral fixation, which I, with full acknowledgement, volunteer.
What I don't understand is how, after two-plus weeks of non-smoking, without ingesting recently any triggers, I suddenly find myself having more of a nic-fit than I had almost two weeks ago! I am NOT the proverbial happy camper. I know it'll pass, in fact I think it's getting there as I write this, but still.

Just had to share.

If nothing else, at least the Sox have a much deserved night off. Hopefully they're faring better than me. Not that will power from such innocuous temptation is necessarily called for, for them, at such a juncture.

Pfeh.

Am I getting my hopes up?

I prefer not to think so. Nonetheless, I had what I think I can safely characterize as my best interview ever. Or, as Comicbookstoreguy would say: "Best. Interview. Ever!" I could be fooling myself and the chick who interviewed me is just ridiculously personable. However, I found myself flying through the tough questions, getting the approving nod when I was critical, yet graciously tactful regarding former employers, and by the end of it, we were both laughing like old friends.

The icing on the cake would be that this company is the top competitor of one of my former employers. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.....sweet. Me? Bitter? Vengeful? Never! Although, one of my favorite coworkers from that time now works where I interviewed today as well, although in a suburb of Chicago. But, she is well respected and is number one on my reference list. More rounds of interviews should hopefully be pending so I'll be keeping my toes crossed.

On my way home popped into one of my temp agencies to give them my newly replaced SSN card so that I could prove that it really was ok for them to give me some assignments. I was actually pretty impressed: I went to the Social Security Administration office on Monday of last week to get a copy of my card (lost the other one some time last year when I changed apartments) and I received the new one day before yesterday! That is the fasted I have ever seen any government office move. Now, if I could just get my tax return that quickly.

We lucky few....

I spent a lot of this weekend doing very little. Aside from doing laundry and going grocery shopping, I was entirely, and happily, unproductive.
I did however, watch all of Band of Brothers.

Now, allow me to preface this by saying that I generally don't get into war films. Generally. This, however, was exceptional. My take on enjoying a film experience is that, if it makes me respong emotionally, I'm happy as a clam. It takes a lot to make me react. While most people laugh out loud, I smile. Likewise with tearjerkers, I tend to roll my eyes and think to myself, "wow, that's too bad." It takes a lot. I'm not a cold fish, just one with a tough exterior. Blame it on my backstory if you want, which I will relay at a later date.

Back to the film. Now, I realize it's all about WWII, but I didn't really allow myself to think of it in that context, since, when I think of that I think entirely about the Holocaust, which much of my family was directly affected, or exterminated, by. However, in the second-to-last installment of this series, the aptly named "Why We Fight" the troops are first introduced to a concentration camp. Something they hadn't heard of yet.

Well, between their reaction and the prisoners' reaction to their liberation, I was a sobbing lump of mush. It was great. Made me bawl, but it was fantastic.
Needless to say, I highly recommend this series. And kudos to Dave for buying it, which enabled my borrowing and watching it.
More later, I've got an interview to get to.

And........exhale

Mercifully, my boys ended their skid at three losses, winning today against the Blue Jays. I'm feeling better now. Way much gooder. How 'bout Pap? Still not the easiest of saves for him, what with two hits to start, but still, showing his poise. And Willie Harris? Well, at least we know he can get hit by a pitch to reach base if nothing else. And I mean nothing else.
At any rate, I'm glad Clement got this win. Hopefully this is the beginning of another beautiful streak of wins.
I'm just looking forward to the boys coming here for their set of games with the White Sox so I can actually watch some of these games on TV, or in person instead of over the computer. Ah....patience, grasshopper.
Now if we could just get the Evil Empire to stay at the bottom, then things would really be coming up Millhouse.
Enough. I'm happy. Now to try to settle down so I can actually get a decent nights sleep before my interview tomorrow morning. Let's see, seven hours or so 'til I try to fall asleep? That should be enough time to relax. I'm guessing that since the birds outside woke me up at 5AM today, it shouldn't be a problem.

Because I have time to kill....

I had seen this on some other blogs and thought I'd see how I'd measure up.

Pretty much as I'd expected.

Your Deadly Sins

Lust: 60%

Sloth: 40%

Wrath: 40%

Greed: 20%

Envy: 0%

Gluttony: 0%

Pride: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 23%

You'll die from overexertion. *wink*

How Sinful Are You?

But then, there weren't really enough questions to have me figured out completely, but I'll take it.

I turn my back for two innings...

and see what happens?
Red Sox down 5-0 after two innings. Crapola. Remember my discomfort with DiNardo? yeah, well, turning into adamant disdain.
To top it all off, I come home from my walk, get the mail. Are my Netflix in there that I was supposed to receive yesterday? No. But, joy of joys, my credit card bill is. Shittiness.

If nothing else, it is a lovely day out, and my walk was great. Small comfort, but worth fixating on until something good happens.

Everything in Balance

Failure and success. Let's start with failure.
My Red Sox blew it in 12 innings last night. A nail biter and all, but with the wrong ending.
Timlin, Foulke, Seanez. Yeah well crap. Hopefully that'll be the last one run game they lose for awhile, Hell, for the season! On to this afternoon's game. Haven't been able to put too much faith into DiNardo yet, but, at least it isn't Wells.
As for success. I did go out yesterday, went to The Globe, my favorite bar around the corner from my apartment. Said hi to Tara the fabulous bartender who scolded me for not being in in a while, until she found out why. Today is day 14 of not smoking and the success factor is such that I think I can almost safely say now that I am a non-smoker. I sat at the bar, chatting with my friend Ed for three hours as he smoked 3/4 of a pack of smokes - right next to me. I never even came close to bumming one from him. So, I'm feeling a little proud of myself. However, the one thing I did notice was that, without the intermittent diversion of smoking, I drink a LOT faster. So, after three hours I was a little toasted and very happy to be stumbling distance from home.
Timing being everything, just as I got home, my roommate and best friend Dave was just taking off to go drink. Two Libras. All balance. More later. Going for a walk before the game.

On to more pertinent things....

Ok, so I went a little overboard today. I went shopping. Not a good idea for any number of reasons.
First off, I'm a large girl. The self-esteem doesn't exactly soar when you are forced to try on clothing in small confined spaces with large mirrors.
Second, I'm a little bit destitute. Downright broke. Can't afford groceries, much less clothing at this point. But you gotta do what you gotta do because:
I have a job interview coming up on Monday.

I don't own any really nice work/interview clothes in my current size. I have a couple nice suits from when I was ever so slightly smaller, but that serves me not at all when it comes to looking professional on Monday.

So, I hit the gym and then the fat lady store, aka: Lane Bryant
Then, they're having a sale. So, spawn of Satan retail sales chick steps in and starts pushing everything on me. Rather than indulging her, I quickly picked out far too many pieces and got out of there.
Let's just say I'm not looking forward to my next credit card bill. Maybe I'll have a job by then.
Crossing my toes on that one. We'll see.

Sox v. Blue Jays tonight. Should be a stunnah! Beckett going for his fourth win to tie Schilling for the 4-0 record. Per usual, I'll be watching it on my computer. Update by update.

Hrm, not for a few hours. Maybe I'll grab a cocktail before the game. It's been awhile since I haven't trusted myself to be around smokers, but it's been almost two weeks. Maybe I'll give it a shot. I'll leave if the temptation starts to get the better of me.

I am so NOT 8% Republican!

You scored as Democrat. Democrat 83% Anarchism 75% Green 50% Communism 50% Socialist 42% Fascism 17% Nazi 8% Republican 8% What Political Party Do Your Beliefs Put You In? created with QuizFarm.com

Hrm, well, actually, that's probably pretty accurate, depending on your definition of communism.

Although, I think the whole Nazi and Republican elements should be more like 0%, but then, what do you want from an atheist Jew?

Riddle me this, Batman

Explain to me why, or how, we kick so very much ass, winning 11 of our first 15 games (oh yeah, Red Sox, btw) and yet lose 5-1!!!!!! to Tampa fucking Bay! What's the deal? Is it that we only try when it counts? When it's against purported division rivals fine, but against TB don't waste your fucking strength? Btw, TB is in our division people! Fine, let's pretend we're just filling in for the team that we sent down to Pawtucket! Is that it? Did we have different players out there?
I understand there's always a learning curve for a new catcher dealing with a knuckleballer. I'm actually not blaming him, well not too much. Wakes was left in too long. But that's besides the point considering that our offense didn't do a goddamn thing to support him. Piss poor showing. That's all I can say. So now we're 11-5, still a tremendous start, still the best record in baseball, but I expected more, given the schedule we've been faced with thus far. I guess I can find comfort in knowing that we didn't give the two wins to the otherwise winless Kansas City Royals. Hey, I may live in Chicago, but I'm not exactly loyal to the White Sox.
Ah well, if nothing else, at least the Yanks are tied for last in the division. I don't expect it to last, but I will most definitely savor this however long we spend at the top of the AL Division stat.
'nuff said. I've said it before and no doubt I'll say it again, let's move on.

Love is in the air

And by that, I mean BASEBALL. Sadly, my love life is rather defunct. I once told a friend of mine that, if I could manage it, I'd have sex and sushi every day. Instead, I'm an unintentional born-again virgin who can't afford sushi. But back to baseball.
I realize we're only two weeks into the season but I'm as happy as a little girl. I love baseball. More importantly, infinitely more importantly, I love the Red Sox.
I always have. I grew up in Massachusetts, in a northwest suburb of Boston. Grew up playing softball (3rd base, clean-up hitter, thank you very much) and likewise learned to hate the Yankees as soon as I learned baseball existed. Fast forward to today. I'm no longer waiting for the Red Sox to win the big one, instead bemoaning the fact that's it's been more than a year since they've won. But this, I can cope with.
What I'm having difficulty with is not having cable. And by cable, I don't mean premium, HBO all that unnecessary bullshit cable. no. I'm talking NESN. That's right, The New England Sports Network. I hate not being able to watch my boys play. What do I have instead? MLB.com. Which, I grant you, has saved me from insanity. If nothing else, I can get play by play updates during the game, as I'm getting now. But it's just not the same. (at present, sox are up 1-0, but hey, it's Tampa fucking Bay they're playing, so they damn well better win this one.
At any rate, I've been going positively apeshit over baseball lately, watching everything baseball. I've watched, The Natural, Bull Durham, Major League, Fever Pitch. Name it. Hell, I've even rewatched The Untouchables just to see DeNiro's Capone bash that guys head in with a baseball bat. But I digress. The game is in progress. Time to prioritize.

The Saga Begins - well, continues

So, to be far too honest and blunt. I'm quite overweight, fat, obese, whatever term you want to use. But, if nothing else, I'm making an effort to be otherwise. As of January of this year, I made a goal of losing 100 pounds, although, truth be told, it should have been 120, but baby steps, right? Anyway, as of today, I have lost 35 of them, so baby steps continue. 65 to go. I'll keep you all up to date on my progress.
It's weird, I have, count 'em, three web sites that I check in with to post whatever exercise I've done that day - I find it's the only way to hold myself accountable. But here, I get to inflict on whomever is unfortunate to find this blog, the boasting, or whatever I might need to do to actually feel validated in my efforts, not that anyone necessarily would validate me out there. Case in point: I went to the gym today, in fact I'm fresh from my post workout shower. So, I logged it on the three aforementioned websites. But still I still need to say here - Hooray! I'm trying! Validate me! it's all self-indulgent bullshit afterall, but then what are blogs for. So there - I walked on the treadmill for 65 minutes. Good for me. Let's move on.

Bienvenue!

So hey there, and welcome to day one of the jessinatrix's blog. More specifically, welcome to day 11 of me not smoking!
One would postulate that, by now, the nicotine having left my system, things would be going rather swimmingly. Yeah, not so much.
Suffice to say, I have been, in the past week or so, making an effort not to go out as to avoid associating drinking with smoking. Yeah, well, what am I doing tonight? I'm sitting at home. Drinking. With nothing to do between drinks but change the channel. And, oh yeah, nic fit. You'd think it wouldn't be a big deal, but it's amazing what both the power of suggestion and the absence of an action-related habit will do to a girl. What also didn't help was having to out last night. I know, I make that sound like a chore. Damn! I have to go out. Point of fact, I play on a pool team. More specifically, I used to play on a team, one which I abandoned but have recently agreed to return to - strictly as a substitute to avoid the necessity of a forfeit. So yeah, that didn't help too much being out last night. But I persevered. Now, if I could just maintain my lack of smoking without gaining weight. Have I mentioned that I'm in the process of losing 100 pounds? Another story for another day.

In any case, welcome to the idle mind of Jess.